Let’s be real about The Walking Dead — we may all originally have come for the zombies and post-apocalyptic survival fantasy, but when we stayed, we stayed for the drama. So it’s only fitting that we get some majorly emotional music to go with it. So if you were getting feels and you just desperately need to know what the song in The Walking Dead’s midseason premiere is, you’re not alone.

The emotional and expressive music that plays during a montage of Carl’s actions during the midseason premiere is “At The Bottom of Everything,” by Bright Eyes. The song was originally released on the 2005 album I’m Wide Awake, It’s Morning, an album which I have to admit I definitely have had Feels to at least once. So if you’re getting nostalgic flashbacks you can’t quite place, that’s probably why.

The song, whose lyrics are about facing down the inevitable and finding meaning in things (in the context of a plane crash, but I’ll roll with it) was kind of a perfect choice for the scene. In a long montage, fans saw Carl making his peace with approaching death. After discovering that he had been bitten by a walker, Carl gets himself ready for death through what may be the last actions of his life — some practical, like changing out of his bloody clothes and washing himself, and some about his loved ones who will survive after him— writing notes to his family, taking a photo with little sister Judith and sitting with her, rocking her on the porch.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

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Vijay Nanda

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