‘You have excellent posture,” is a great compliment, even in awkwardly progressive 2019. Who doesn’t want to know they move with the grace of a dancer and the moral heroism of a born leader? Who doesn’t want to look “quite tall for a short person”?
I will never hear these words, as I have the posture of a weeping willow. When I sit at a computer, the natural S of my spine curves into a capital C. I walk like a vulture in mourning.
I am well aware of the health implications. Research proves that sitting or standing in an upright position tells our brain we are feeling healthy, inhibiting cortisol release and improving memory function. I want all of that, but mainly I want the compliments. How to get them?
Enter Upright Go (£69.99, uprightpose.com). It is a sort of digital sextant in a box, that sticks to one’s spine and measures the angle of the back. It resembles the paddleboard of a sporty mouse, or the computer mouse of a nerdy leprechaun. Off the bat, I have concerns about its adhesive backing, which is tacky rather than sticky. But will it be my saviour?