I really fancy someone at work. We’re in different teams, so it’s not technically against the rules, but would it be terrible for my career if I made a move? I’m quite junior and worried that people will judge me for it.
First, let’s erase this ghastly idea of judgment: who cares what people think of you? If you can master that one question, you are on your way to a life of bliss. Forget about whether it’s terrible for your career, either. Instead ask: is it right for you?
Let’s consider the object of your affections. People At Work are a weird thing. You’re there for most of your adult life, spending more time with colleagues than you do with family and friends. It’s a heightened environment where we show one facet of ourselves: the most high-achieving, productive, well-dressed kind. Now add the tensions of working with many similarly tribal people and the bond you get from working on a common project.