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The dilemma After what seems an age of online dating (five years) I met a wonderful woman. We’re both in our late 30s and want to settle down. After just six months we are moving in together and I’m considering proposing. We’re very much in love and have a wonderful life. But on meeting her extended family and friends, it’s clear we are from incredibly different backgrounds. Mine is humble, hers is filled with professors and doctors, and has close links to the best universities and the cultural elite.

Her family and friends are lovely, but I can’t get over the feeling of inadequacy, particularly because I know how much value they put on education. They are very wealthy and she’s yet to visit my parents’ tiny semi in the Midlands. I feel her family will think she’s settling. There’s a similar situation with another family member. It’s often discussed, without the realisation that it is close to the bone.

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Vijay Nanda

The author Vijay Nanda

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