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When you catch a loved one’s partner cheating on them, it can really put you in a difficult spot. You’d obviously want to tell them right away, but of course, it’s not that simple. After all, it’s not your relationship, it’s your friend’s or family member’s. So what should you do in this situation? What’s the best way to tell someone you love that their partner is cheating?

“This is a tricky subject,” marriage and family therapist, Erika Labuzan-Lopez, LMFT, LPC, tells Bustle. “Sometimes we do need to let our friends know bad news if it will ultimately help them or if it’s something they need to know. But people have different views about whether or not they would want to know if their partner is cheating in the first place.”

Your job as a friend is to first think about whether or not your friend would be open to hearing about it at all, Labuzan-Lopez says. Then, it’s important to understand that your loved one may not react in the way you anticipated.

“Your friend may have strong reactions, have misplaced anger towards you, or pull away from you after you disclose what you know,” Labuzan-Lopez says. “These are not reasons not to tell your friend. But these are reactions that are normal. So you should be prepared.”

If you’re ready to tell your loved one that their significant other is cheating, here’s what you should do:

1 Make Sure You Know It’s Actually Cheating
2 Do It In Person
3 Try Asking About The State Of Their Relationship First

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Vijay Nanda

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