Name: Cooking Gravel.
Age: New enough to be cutting edge.
Appearance: Basically just loads of gravel in a soup.
This is ridiculous. What sort of idiot puts gravel in a soup? Heston Blumenthal.
This is revolutionary! What a brave new epoch for the culinary arts! Gravel soup for everybody! Hey, calm down a minute. You don’t even know what gravel soup is yet.
It doesn’t matter. Heston Blumenthal makes it, and he’s hardly the sort of person who’d faff around needlessly with disgusting-sounding ingredients, is he? Well, I mean, he sort of is.